"Here He Comes...!"

Wow, Mattel has issued forth a SECOND WAVE OF SPEED RACER HOT WHEELS! (Cheering) Now fans of the Watchowski's brilliant 2007 masterpiece (all 23 of us) can relive the excitement of the rally race with these funky new toys.

This latest (and most likely, lastest) assortment of cars is a mix of repaints and new sculpts, featuring four new vehicles from the dastardly rally race in the second act of the film. This includes:


Snake Oiler's street car


Thor-Axine (viking)


Delila (diamond sucking/ drug analogy femme)


and finally, Taejo Togokahn (double crossing Asian racer)

As expected, these toys are nicely detailed and roll smoothly as only Hot Wheels do, but the unique factor these toys possess are the high impact plastic bodies. Initially, this turned me off, as I would have preferred a solid piece of die-cast metal. I bought one anyhow, and after rolling down some track onto a hard surface I realized the choice in materials accurately recreated the "Car Fu" stylings of the film upon impact. These things don't just bounce, they practically dance. As a true brillaint stroke, these cars feature a die-cast bottom plate, adding enough weight to land the car right side up 90% of the time. Somebody at Mattel would've received an award if not for the film's lack of success, so there is something inexplicable about this new assortment of toys. I think it's pretty great to be able to include these notable characters in my Speed Racer Hot Wheels collection, and I'm surprised and appreciative. Having a vehicle for Taejo is especially great, considering the character actually has a story arc that kids will enjoy exploring through play.


Desert Rally repaints

Of the repaints, I zeroed in on the Mach 5 and Racer X with sand detail, from the afore mentioned rally, and left the others for later. The light brown under spray impressed me by contrasting nicely with the iconic designs of both the Mach 5 and X's Shooting Star, while the rest of these toys merely represent the massive surplus that did not sell. Although I can't blame Mattel for "Race Wrecked Grey Ghost" (several cars return as "Race Wrecked", featuring a black under spray to indicate engine burnout,)I can hold out until they show up for even less than a dollar, because that's the rub here people; you can't get these at retail.

I stumbled upon these guys while looking for batteries in a dollar store. The batteries were dead, but who cares when you've uncovered a favorite toy unexpectedly. The experience was a little like the dreams I have of walking into a dusty old variety store and finding a pile of Kenner Star Wars figures at 1980 prices, only not nearly as orgasmic. Snake Oiler's street car has been seen at Target in a two-pack with the Mach 5, but even that went straight to the clearance aisle. When a movie tanks, you don't expect additional merchandise. Just one more reason to love crazy Mattel.

You cannot deny "Speed Racer" the movie was a real dog for everyone involved. This is good in a way because now they can't tarnish the film experience by making a less than stellar sequel. On the other hand it's bad because fans want to own miniature versions of the cool cars presented therein, and that's not supposed to happen much when nobody sees the movie. Mattel will never again make so much ancillary merchandise for a new movie, no matter how big the marketing push, therefore, one has to wonder what the philosophy behind releasing another assortment could be. It would seem that we are so far down along the pipeline that these toys could have been canceled. Maybe Mattel is gunning for some of that stimulus package. When they tell congress it's to make up for all the Speed Racer toys they'll surely get some.

However it happened, if you have kids and need a cheap quality toy (die-cast and chunky ABS) that will be loved, or maybe you're older and just happen to love Speed Racer, Mattel Hot Wheels Speed Racer are the thing. After all, it's going to be a long time before we see anymore Mach 5s at Wal-Mart.

Century III Mall

This is one of those "flagship" commerce centers of the late seventies, early eighties, the Golden Age of Shopping Malls. Malls were being romanced via Film and TV, and they were popping up everywhere. The general rule was you could only build a new mall if it was going to be bigger and better than any to have come before, and nobody could imagine a time when we would not be spending our leisure shopping in indoors.

Despite being located almost an hour away, Century III Mall's draw was powerful enough to get families like mine to pile into the car for some epic holiday shopping. Naturally, as a special occasion, I would come away with some cool toy, at times Star Wars, Smurfs, or a transforming robot. Recently, while wandering around with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia, I couldn't help but notice the optimistic attitude embodied in the architecture of the building. Lots of crazy angles comprised of wooden railings and faux sandstone, and lots of open space.


M.C. Escher to food court


Last vestiges of "Tiki"


"Atmosphere controlled comfort"

A lot of malls built during the era of "Falcon Crest" and "Dallas" feature a similar sci-fi aesthetic, looking like a scene from "Logan's Run" or "Blade Runner" but Century III stands out as the definitive example, in Pittsburgh and beyond.


Close Encounters of a IIIrd Kind

Unfortunately, the place is a little dilapidated these days, reflecting the throw away culture that constructed it. Some of the store fronts are empty, yet considering the close proximity to Wall-Mart it's actually not doing too bad. Even though the only reason I went there was for the comic shop on the third level, Century III cannot yet be referred to as a "Dirt Mall"

One of the more impressive elements that has since fallen into disrepair is the parking garage. A massive shelf is now shut off to traffic, probably due to structural deficiencies. This overflow of parking funneled consumers onto the third level of the mall, over the food court. This third level is now home to Sears, the army recruiter, said comic shop, and a similar geek resale shop specializing in toys and media.



The Forgotten Parking Lot


Stairwell to Lower Level
Monkey Wards


Next to Sears


Beneath The Forgotten Parking Lot

Considering the current retail environment and whatever trends coming along to further seal the fate of the indoor shopping mall, it isn't likely that this parking garage will ever be repaired. Mall management will probably demolish it first, but only once it becomes absolutely necessary to do so. At one time this was essential space for vast numbers of parked cars.

This report is dedicated to the great memories of a bygone era of commerce and community, especially as it occurred at Century III Mall.

Bojangles "Gotta Lotta Flavor Y'all"

When I was a kid, probably around thirteen or so, my family had friends in North Carolina whom we would visit once a year during the summer. Growing up in Pittsburgh, North Carolina was something totally different at the time, yet not so much in terms of topography or urban planning. What really struck me was the cultural differences, specifically people's mannerisms and attitude, and the food. The touchstone event of my childhood experience in NC wasn't the beach, it was the annual stop at Bojangles Chicken and Biscuits on the ride home.



This restaurant chain would for decades embody everything I loved and hated about the south. For one thing, the chicken being served was spicy, and back in 1983 that was not to be found in the North. Wendy's was still pretty much pushing their hot and juicy hamburgers exclusively, and Popeye's was still getting started. This was an entirely new concept for all of us, and I immediately fell in love with the spicy breading used on Bojangles chicken. On my second or third visit I realized the spicy Chicken fillet served on a biscuit was the greatest breakfast I had ever eaten. The other thing I realized was that people in the South moved SLOW. Really SLOW. SLOW, like, even though I'm only thirteen years old, I just knew that there was something wrong with their definition of "fast food" I remember standing at the counter long enough to want to scream, followed by complaining while everyone else tried to enjoy their meal, and that's not my style at all. That said the meal was so good that I always insisted on stopping if a Bojangles appeared on the road anywhere near lunchtime.

My impression of the South divided by Bojangles equals delicious plus lethargic.

As of this writing it had been a full two decades since I'd been anywhere near a Bojangles. At one point there was one an hour or two from the 'Burgh, which I found on some road trip to someplace, but I didn't stop in, and it didn't last long in that location. This would have been in the early 90's, and I patiently waited for the company to establish another northern outpost, only to be disappointed and finally forget. Until last weekend, that is.

On my way down to Raleigh to demo Copic Markers and Canson Fanboy Paper for Jerry's Artarama, I saw one of those state issued road signs which indicate what amenities are available at the next exit, and there it was in all it's red and yellow glory, right next to tired old McDonald's and Burger King and Cracker Barrel, my childhood culinary launching point, "Bojangles" That's how I knew I was back in North Carolina, and as luck would have it, I needed gas. It turned out to be bad luck since I went in the wrong direction and, based on my most recent Bojangles sighting in the North combined with sighting a dilapidated, boarded up yellow eatery, deducted that there was, in fact, no Bojangles. Feeling a little let down, I fueled up and headed for the highway, and while building momentum on the entrance ramp, I spied the restaurant the road sign had indicated. Damn it! Not to worry, I now had confirmation that Bojangles was still in business, and I would soon see if the franchise could serve better than memory.

Indeed, my cousin's house (where I stayed) was no less than four blocks away from a location, so when Saturday morning rolled around there was no question as to where I was going for eats. Actually, it was more like Saturday afternoon, but I was kind of hung over, and so I skipped breakfast and ordered a two piece dinner combo. What I learned was, not only does Bojangles still taste better than any other fast food chicken, but it also helps to dispel the sluggishness of a night of drinking, much like any greasy food should.

Standing in line, I got the sense that I needed to order a meal, rather than a sandwich. This would give me a better idea of what made this place tick. Ordering a two piece and one side would reveal a lot more than any newfangled menu item and fries. Besides, I'm not a kid anymore and sometimes eating with a spork can be fun (Bojangles also help pioneer the noble "Spork") There in line I saw they offered Cajun pintos and dirty rice, and opted for the latter. As a kid there was no way I was trying beans and rice when a french fry would do, but the lessons learned from the spicy chicken fillet were not lost, and I had since come to enjoy Cajun and Soulfood cuisine. Unbelievably, the rice stood out as some of the best dirty rice I had ever tasted, and while still a northerner, I consider myself as one who has enough of an appreciation to be able to say such a thing. I know a fast food restaurant is going to cut corners, but whatever they're doing, I'm not complaining. The biscuit was flaky and buttery, and something my mother remembers as a stand out, but then again McDonald's wasn't serving biscuits in '83, so it's hard for me to say, other than they ARE tasty. Finally, the chicken (although I didn't eat in any particular order) Ah, the spicy chicken I had longed for.

The Previous evening, while catching up with Tom and Heather, I cautiously broached the subject of Bojangles, not sure how the greasy spoon would fly with two transplanted New Yorkers. They both chuckled and confirmed that it is indeed some decent junk, albeit more in terms of being "drunk" food. The next morning, with trepidation, I bit into Bojangles chicken for the first time as an adult and it was as if all the waiting, all the longing, had been worth it for that moment. There aren't many childhood memories that hold up as well as Bojangles, or maybe there's just something wrong with me. The breading was crispy and greasy in that unique pressure fried way that once could have been said about KFC (before people started finding brains in the thighs) Where the breading fell off red Cajun seasoning was revealed, the key ingredient in this genuine southern fried chicken recipe. Better still, real chicken, after years of giving up on the headless green mutants you get (ahem!) elsewhere. Not so much like fast food, Bojangles impressed me as being more akin to Pittsburgh's own Primanti Brothers, being the local eatery that does things it's own way and is rewarded by a loyal customer base. The stuff was so good I had to steer myself away from the counter and a second helping. The final touch in Bojangles menu of awesomeness? Sweet Tea. Looking at Wendy's or McDonald's, it becomes clear just how much influence Bojangles has had on the fast food industry, yet it remains firmly entrenched in the South. Spicy Chicken Sandwich, Mickey D's Sweet Tea, all garbage. Bojangles is the real deal and if staying put in NC means quality control is never compromised, well save me a seat, I'll be back on my next visit.

Oh, and those slower than Moses Southern folk behind the counter aren't quite gone, even if a steady influx of Yankees seems to have finally lit a fire under their collective ass. Although they still "have a minute" their congeniality more than makes up for it, especially when one's head feels like it's going to explode due to the previous nights recklessness.

All in all, a great experience, two days in a row, at Bojangles Chicken and Biscuits. A lot has changed in North Carolina, so it's good to see this institution holding steady and living up to unrealistic expectations. Next time I've promised my mom I'd bring back a box of biscuits. She'll have the final word on that subject, mine is that it's a good thing there isn't a Bojangles anywhere near me because I like the stuff entirely too much.

Save WBGN

The good people responsible for "The It's Alive Show" have a petition you can sign in order to restore their broadcast home, WBGN, to the Comcast cable line up. As many of you already know, Comcast features some of the worst programming. Naturally, I was delighted to learn I could still watch "The It's Alive Show" while unemployed, broke, and living with my parents, which is cool because you can't find work at 10pm on a Saturday night anyhow, at least not in most fields. And WBGN doesn't stop there, no way. I got hooked on weekly broadcasts of "Hawaii Five-O" and "Mission Impossible" (back when I was working.)WBGN is the kind of station that would air "In Search Of..." or "The Mod Squad" if enough people ask for it, a funky, low rent operation that huge corporations like Comcast can find no value in. WBGN makes the religious channel look like the slick bullshit it really is.

Comcast really sucks. Religious channels, Home Shopping, that stupid community bulletin board with the eighties teleprompter graphics that no one ever watches, not even any sports channels on basic. To add further insult, WBGN's former spot is now occupied by DEAD AIR. That's right, you're paying to get DEAD AIR instead of more home shopping or religion. DEAD AIR is actually a better deal next to those, but I digress... In an era where disinterested shareholders own and exploit all the TV classics, it's kind of nice to have a WBGN still running old, grainy prints of "Godzilla Vs. Megalon" on a Saturday afternoon.

Go HERE and sign the petition now. Go HERE for updates on the the next course of action (read: ZOMBIE DEMONSTRATION WALK) that The It's Alive Show intends to take. Do this because you miss the way TV used to be, and still is sometimes in some places, but not for much longer, and at this time, not at all on Comcast.

Christmas time at Disney World

Here it is, a full MONTH after the holiday, but worth posting just the same. You know how the holidays get so hectic...

Anyhow, I think it's easy to forget the awesome power of Disney. If you can go to one of their theme parks and not love it, then you are much more cynical than I. During Christmas it gets even more surreal, as they hang lights from everything. An hour or two into the evening I experienced a flashback. Here are some blurry photos to give you an idea:









Hope you had a great holiday, whichever ones you celebrate!

Bandai 2008 "Decisive Battle! The Super 8 Ultra Brothers" vinyl kaiju assortment

King Gesura, King Goldoras, King Silvergon, Super Hipporit, and King Pandon

This year, as my Christmas Gift To Myself, I picked up this really cool set of 6" scale monster toys from the recent Tsuburaya production "Decisive Battle! The Super 8 Ultra Brothers" They are no disappointment. While a couple of these feel a little light in terms of weight and size, Bandai really pours it on with the sculpts and paint detail. A great feature article on the film itself can be found here


Card Detail

Each comes with the now familiar additional game card, which enables one to "Charge Up" a character in the Ultraman arcade game, and the standard tag, which has a uniformed layout featuring a group shot of the Ultra Brothers, film logo, and small photo of the particular kaiju it is attached to.

I had been admiring these guys for a few months before taking the plunge. The two that compelled me to do so were the keen redesigns for Gesura and, especially, Pandon. "King" Gesura (they are all Kings now) has an elongated tail and more pronounced detail, otherwise it probably isn't the most radical departure from the original design.

As for the being a toy, it's the smallest of the bunch, but again, the detail is what counts here, and frankly, it's nice to have a modern tooling of this classic character. King Pandon, on the other hand is nothing less than a total re-thinking of the original design.
Gone are the metallic robot limbs and abstract facial features, this guy is now a two headed dragon with beaks and claws! He looks like he could eat you, and that, as we all know, is the stuff a great Kaiju is made of.

King Goldoras gets the most points for heft and articulation, and King Silvergon is cool just for showing up, but the real suprise (for me) is how much I LOVE Super Hipporit.

This character is a testament to how far the suitmation technology in these movies has come. It's another creature that hasn't been revised TOO much, yet still manages to bring something new to the table. The proportions are streamlined and the detailing draws from the H.R.Giger school of weirdness, even if the color scheme is a dead giveaway that this is still Tsuburaya.



It's the tallest of the toys, and features some nice dry brush paint technique that lend to it's tactile qualities. The snout is articulated, too, in case you forgot that these are intended for kids of all ages.

Over all, Bandai's Decisive Battle! Super 8 Ultra Brothers kaiju assortment is a terrific addition to your kaiju collection, and can be purchased at a reasonable cost of fifteen dollars each or less. When you consider that this is a time when Japan has little to no interest in kaiju tv and films, it's a relief to see some brand new goods being made available. Also, and with that in mind, it's likely that these weren't made in the greatest quantities, so my bet is when the resurgence finally arrives, these toys will become highly sought after by the new crop of collectors. If I'm wrong, they're still really cool and lots of fun. Here's hoping Bandai continue to favor us with additional 6" scale vinyl kaiju for years to come.

The JOKE that is BLACK FRIDAY

I'm not the best writer. I know this. That said, I'm able to console myself with the knowledge that a lesser writer would start this essay off with some half-inspired tripe like "Is it me, or is Black Friday a big deal for no reason?" I won't write that because I know it's a big deal for one very big reason. I've known this since 1992 when I got my first record store job in the mall. I know full well that "Black Friday" is the day when retailers sink or swim for the year, and has been since the '70's. What I don't know is why consumers continue to buy into the idea that they need to go batshit insane with their spending habits for this one special day each and every year. I don't get it because I understand that ON BLACK FRIDAY THERE ARE NO ACTUAL BARGAINS TO BE FOUND ANYWHERE PERIOD.

Sure, that Kitchen Aid Mixer you were admiring three years ago is suddenly within your price range for six hours, but only if you're willing to miss all your favorite stories on prime time TV and sleep on a sidewalk in temperatures hovering near the low thirties. Then you have to tussle with someone who is probably reasonable throughout most of the rest of their lifetime just to get through the door and to the thing you cherish before all eight of them are purchased and your dreams are crushed. Of course I'm only kidding about someone cherishing an outdated appliance. The fact is none of the stuff people are clamoring for on this day is the special big ticket item that their loved ones actually want. Looking through the ads it becomes apparent that these so-called great deals are actually close out specials on overstock and yesterdays mass marketed garbage.

For example: An eight year old boy today wants nothing more than Bakugon for Christmas. It's the hot toy that parents are pulling out their hair looking for this year. Toy's 'R' Us has a huge "doorbuster" sale starting at five in the morning, with lots of stuff drastically marked down, however, none of that stuff is Bakugon. In fact, they probably still don't have any Bakugon on the shelves or in the stock room, yet these same parents will cave in and buy a four year old Optimus Prime figure that the more privileged kids have already loved to pieces. If that wasn't suspect enough, it's ONLY the outdated Optimus Prime and none of the others of the multitudes of Transformers. This reflects manufacturing surplus and distribution patterns more than any interest on the part of a child. When you hand that toy to a kid that doesn't already have one you probably won't get any complaints. You won't get a high five either, because he'll go back to school the following week knowing he didn't score the big prize that is Bakugon. That's because "doorbuster" sales don't offer what you want, they only offer "deals," and these two concepts seldom intersect.

Touted by the media as a sort of shadow holiday, but really a symptom of consumer culture's clash with family values, Black Friday is traditionally the day when women lash out at their men for watching football all day during Thanksgiving, rather than actually spending quality time with their families. Since men define quality time as time spent in front of the tube watching football, it can be reasoned that women scuttling about at ungodly hours of the morning buying a bunch of stuff nobody wants or needs can also be regarded as quality time. And just as there are now three football games on Thanksgiving Day there is an even greater urgency for women to go out into the night and return ten hours later, exhausted, in a SUV sagging from the weight of all the future Christmas re-gifting, which can only be unpacked in the evening after a three and a half hour nap. This is a generational thing that has been cultivated for close to fifty years, and retailers have come to depend on it, only it isn't going to save them this time because they've been increasingly selling themselves out with outlet store marketing techniques the savvy shopper can find elsewhere all year round.

This year is the toughest year retailers have seen in a long, long time. Apologists will argue, but the truth is our economy has been in recession for somewhere near twelve straight years, or ever since the dot com bubble burst. Holding steady is not growth. Undocumented unemployment is still unemployment. Major retail chains like Circuit City do not tank because of one bad year. Just the same, when the news anchor introduces the unlucky suburban bureau reporter stuck at the mall annex, you can be sure that the people he or she interviews for the segment aren't actually accomplishing anything towards their long term financial goals. That is because buying something nobody wants at a steep discount isn't doing anyone any good. Not the presenter, nor the presentee, and certainly not the store it was purchased from. This is the year when Black Friday truly fails on all fronts.

It will be interesting to see what happens next year, whether the trend persists or women begin realizing how richly rewarding it is to merely sleep in on a day off. How many stores will emerge to fill the vacuum left by all the closings, and will there be any money left for the shear volume of stuff nobody particularly cares for but will recieve this year regardless? Maybe next year, there will be a sale featuring things that are culturally relevant to the time, and not the retail equivalent of your older siblings hand-me-downs. We'd all better hope so, because at this rate Black Friday isn't going to be such a big deal for much longer, and that's a problem.