Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Women of the 2009 G-20 Summit

The G-20 Summit is the biggest media event to happen to Pittsburgh in generations. It was to be many things to many people, and deliver to the city a new level of respect. The latter remains to be seen, however the local media was basking in their glory. Like most Pittsburghers I helped shutter and turn Downtown into a ghost town by staying at home and monitoring the media coverage. What a circus! I imagine there will be a lot of G-20 centric highlight reels coming out the 'Burgh shortly. A lot of bleached blonde hair, too. There will definitely be a ton of editing so as not to look like erudite pricks.

pittsburgh Pictures, Images and Photos

For the hopes that Pittsburgh would receive accolades, the ABC Nightly News with Brian Williams ran a gushing feature on our beloved hometown. I guess Hearst Argyle is a good friend to have sometimes. They probably want to own us (if they don't already.) Yeah, Pittsburgh is great if you have a graduate degree and are cool with CMU developing WMDs behind your back, otherwise it's surrounding pristine wilderness that keeps most of us still hanging around. BTW, that beautiful house owned by the bourgeois yuppie was in the same neighborhood as the riots, and Mayor Ravenstahl still has about as much charisma as your local Chief of Police.

CBS News wasn't too big on Pittsburgh, but they let us embed their footage as long as we watch thirty seconds of commercials. This is as much Pittsburgh as you were likely to see on CBS;

At least it looks like people in Pittsburgh give a shit. Not that we don't, we just don't destroy private property while doing so. Throughout the coverage CBS seemed to want to downplay Pittsburgh's achievements in recent years, but on the subject of rioting they weren't too far off the mark. Yes, somebody actually did start people onto rioting.

Irresponsible mercenary Police from all over came to the summit to crack skulls. Think about the mentality of a Law Enforcement Official willing to "volunteer" (for pay)and imagine what is going to happen at a demonstration where this guy is assigned. Or don't because it's the 21st century and everything is visually documented. Not much good video online of this one, but check out these pigs roughing up an adorable co-ed. Be sure to re-watch her "Throw the bike at the police"

Great job with the unbiased reporting, douche. I know the right wing are a bunch of closet homosexuals, but this action and resulting commentary really shows just how gay U.S. conservatism has become. And they got the media! That's not a criminal, that's a sexy little hell cat, and there's a difference. A "Liberal Media" would allow for that when attempting to convey information. Here's more on her side of the story. Here also is a petition to get the charges against her dropped.

Another notable event was the first official use of sonic weaponry by law enforcement in a country other than Russia. Nice work guys!

Yet the G-20 Summit wasn't all Lawrenceville and Oakland.

Carla Bruni-Sarkozy Pictures, Images and Photos

High above all this commotion, Carla Bruni made France an okay place by complementing Pittsburgh's beauty.

Carla Bruni Pictures, Images and Photos

She was all over the local news giving the city her stamp of approval,

carla bruni Pictures, Images and Photos

and generally bringing an element of glamor that just doesn't occur here naturally.

Carla Bruni Pictures, Images and Photos


Carla Bruni Pictures, Images and Photos

if you're French and enjoy history,

Carla Bruni Pictures, Images and Photos

Pittsburgh is a very interesting place to visit.

carla bruni Pictures, Images and Photos

carla bruni Pictures, Images and Photos

carla Pictures, Images and Photos

How do you take this woman seriously?

Interestingly, for all the coverage of all the world leaders and all their wives, I don't recall seeing any mention of Great Britain. They showed up, right? I want to be able to invite them again, ya know? Bruni can come over anytime, because she totally owned all the shrill bitches that pass as reporters around here. She looks like fun to be around. Maybe she busted out the guitar and sang the G-20 one of her songs.

The G-20 is over now, and I doubt that much acclaim will be achieved by this event. Rather, it is likely it ended up hurting things for locals in the long run. The Police brutality and the local leadership's willingness to severely curtail basic freedom of expression is something that will continue to resound among disciples of Liberty everywhere. Pittsburgh Cops are pretty cool, so I think we can blame the bussed-in rednecks for marring our towns otherwise decent rep. Local Politicians are another story, and Gubernatorial candidate Dan Onerato needs to be carefully observed after signing off on all of this nonsense. The message these guys are sending out is that Pittsburgh was, is, and forever will be a "Company Town"

Yet, I don't think that is the most damning aspect of this event. No, I think Law Enforcement idiocy will forever take a back seat to the members of the local media, including the aforementioned politicians, who were permitted to take the national stage and flounce around in their dated attire, hairstyles, and ideas. The local media's fixation with Pittsburgh's working class foundations permeated every feature, every interview, every report, and have effectively turned back the the clock another twenty years on the region's already lagging national perception. Fawning over the French bitch, cheering on the pigs, trying to buy any and every dignitary a cheese steak at Primanti Bros, it was all these jerks could do to line up and reinforce the ultimate message that Pittsburgh is as stupid and desperate as the rest of the world thinks it is.

No one can deny the Blue Collar legacy of the Steel City (I said it! "Steel City!") but the media's pitch was a poor reflection of what's really going on around here. The closest it came to truthfulness was in showcasing the massive student population as it ran from riot squads. Were the local more aware of and understanding of the youthful energy that charges this town then the rest of the world might finally be let in on the secret, but alas, we'll have to keep it to ourselves a while longer. Letterman may continue with his occasional pot-shot, and other nerdy, geek internet forums may sneer, in the meantime Pittsburgh will remain surprisingly independent and underground, while still being home to two of the best sports franchises.

The city of Pittsburgh fails when it follows, and wins when it leads, and if local media understood that they wouldn't operate so openly as cheer leaders for the Next Big Corporate Thing.

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